Sunday, October 14, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Don't worry, bee happy!
First attempt at bee photography with my new Canon EOS 60D.
I reckon I'll be doing this a lot more in future! :)
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Question Your Reality
I was inspired to write this by a very thought-provoking conversation that took place underneath a friend's Facebook status. He brought up the idea of wondering whether people who own the same car as you have a similar lifestyle? Do they go to the same cafe you go to? Do they have a best friend exactly like your best friend?
Then this whole conversation took place in the comments section between him and 3 of his other friends, plus me. It was fascinating! We discussed life in general, and 'fate' and whether stuff is predestined, and if so are we all just part of a big plan? The movie 'The Truman Show' came up (if you haven't seen it, you should, and I'm not going to give away any of the plot just in case :P), as did the Tv show 'Ashes To Ashes'.
How often do we question our reality?
How often do we really serious challenge the commonly accepted view that we are just creatures on a planet spinning round the sun?
How far can we take this train of thought?
Are we all part of someone else's fantasy world? Are we all part of someone else's dream, only living to fuel their 'life'. What if the whole world is here for just one person, and everything we do affects them? What if this one person is controlling everything we do and every word we say? What if these words I'm typing right now has all been predestined for me to say, late one evening when I should be going to bed but I got so caught up in this 97-comment-long discussion that I had to put all my thoughts in one place?
"What if...?" is probably one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves.
Or "Why?"
Too often we accept the reality with which we are presented, and never challenge any of it. When you go to the petrol station you just accept that when you put the pump in your car it will give you petrol. Why don't our cars run on butterflies instead? Surely that could just as easily be our reality?
What if we all had 3 legs? We accept that, as humans, we only have two legs. And if someone is born with 3, that makes them abnormal. But what if two legs with abnormal? What if you and I were both born with 2 legs, but everyone else had 3? We would be the social outcasts. The ones who would buy shoes, but have to throw one away because they all came in sets of three.
How's that for an alternative reality?
Another movie that springs to mind in this discussion, is 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'. Or 'The Time Traveller's Wife'.
Why are we the way we are? Why is our society constructed the way it is?
Why do we believe what we are told? Why do we not question every single mundane part of our lives purely for the heck of it?
Why has challenging reality become socially unacceptable as something for the majority to do? Why can only people with a degree take on this task?
Well, I've got news for you.
You can challenge it.
You can question it all.
Right here.
Right now.
Perhaps nothing is predestined.
Perhaps we have control over every inch of our lives.
But I don't think that that last idea is true.
If I had control over every inch of my life, it would be totally different. I would take away all my food allergies so that I could eat whatever I wanted. I would make sure all my friends lived in the same town as me.
And I wouldn't have met someone really nice on a bus 3 days before I moved to another country.
I would've met them much sooner.
To quote Jawaharlal Nehru:
"Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will."
Then this whole conversation took place in the comments section between him and 3 of his other friends, plus me. It was fascinating! We discussed life in general, and 'fate' and whether stuff is predestined, and if so are we all just part of a big plan? The movie 'The Truman Show' came up (if you haven't seen it, you should, and I'm not going to give away any of the plot just in case :P), as did the Tv show 'Ashes To Ashes'.
How often do we question our reality?
How often do we really serious challenge the commonly accepted view that we are just creatures on a planet spinning round the sun?
How far can we take this train of thought?
Are we all part of someone else's fantasy world? Are we all part of someone else's dream, only living to fuel their 'life'. What if the whole world is here for just one person, and everything we do affects them? What if this one person is controlling everything we do and every word we say? What if these words I'm typing right now has all been predestined for me to say, late one evening when I should be going to bed but I got so caught up in this 97-comment-long discussion that I had to put all my thoughts in one place?
"What if...?" is probably one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves.
Or "Why?"
Too often we accept the reality with which we are presented, and never challenge any of it. When you go to the petrol station you just accept that when you put the pump in your car it will give you petrol. Why don't our cars run on butterflies instead? Surely that could just as easily be our reality?
What if we all had 3 legs? We accept that, as humans, we only have two legs. And if someone is born with 3, that makes them abnormal. But what if two legs with abnormal? What if you and I were both born with 2 legs, but everyone else had 3? We would be the social outcasts. The ones who would buy shoes, but have to throw one away because they all came in sets of three.
How's that for an alternative reality?
Another movie that springs to mind in this discussion, is 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'. Or 'The Time Traveller's Wife'.
Why are we the way we are? Why is our society constructed the way it is?
Why do we believe what we are told? Why do we not question every single mundane part of our lives purely for the heck of it?
Why has challenging reality become socially unacceptable as something for the majority to do? Why can only people with a degree take on this task?
Well, I've got news for you.
You can challenge it.
You can question it all.
Right here.
Right now.
Perhaps nothing is predestined.
Perhaps we have control over every inch of our lives.
But I don't think that that last idea is true.
If I had control over every inch of my life, it would be totally different. I would take away all my food allergies so that I could eat whatever I wanted. I would make sure all my friends lived in the same town as me.
And I wouldn't have met someone really nice on a bus 3 days before I moved to another country.
I would've met them much sooner.
To quote Jawaharlal Nehru:
"Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will."
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Kony 2012
I'd like to make a point right now, before I start listing the facts.
People are gullible.
We've all done it. We've all been sucked in to one thing or another. Companies and advertisers make good use of this trait every day. I'm sure you can all remember a time you bought something or even just thought about buying something that you saw advertised and thought "Ooh!". Some people are easily lead by their peers, whether it be into believing they're fat because one of the girls at school said "Only skinny girls can get boyfriends." or buying that new dress/hat/shoes/lipstick because the friends they were shopping with convinced them it looked good, even though they didn't really like it that much.
So, bearing in mind how gullible human beings can be, let's look at the Kony 2012 phenomenon.
I've watched my Facebook and Twitter feeds fill up with "Stop Kony" messages over the past 3 days. At first, I didn't take much notice of it. I've known for a long time about 'warlords' like Joseph Kony (although I'd never actually heard his name before), and I've watched countries in Africa and the Middle East fall into disaster zones, with corrupt governments, rebel armies, relentless torture, and child soldiers. This kind of information was not new to me. But I gradually become curious enough to watch the video. I admit that I was sceptical, because I've grown up being taught to not necessarily take things at face value. I have certain sources for this kind of information that I trust and don't question (such as charities like Oxfam, Amnesty International and Avaaz), but I'd never heard of Kony or Invisible Children, so I wasn't about to instantly believe every word they said. I decided this could be an interesting issue to blog about, so I sat down with a notepad to take notes and started the video.
I was struck instantly by how dramatic and personal the video felt. The filmmaker and narrator (as well as being the co-founder of Invisible Children), Jason Russell, tells how he and some friends ended up in Uganda 8 years ago, and discovered the level of violence that has happened there. He made a friend in a local boy, Jacob, and we see footage of Jacob crying when he talks about his murdered brother.
This kind of footage is distressing for any human with any empathy. I find war crimes, torture, rape, child soldiers etc, very wrong and very difficult. Sometimes I get so upset about the state of the world I break down into tears and wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better.
Clearly this film has had the same effect on millions and millions of people worldwide - except their magic wand has been the "Share" button.
Before I start deconstructing the Kony 2012 video and campaign, I'd like to ask you some questions.
How much do you actually know about Joseph Kony? How much information was really in the 29 minute long film? How long have Kony and the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army) been active in Uganda and the surrounding countries? Do you know when Kony was last officially sighted? If you donate money to the Invisible Children charity, where does that money actually end up? And how is sharing a video with all your Facebook friends and Twitter followers going to get this guy arrested?
Okay, so let's start with some basic facts that we should all know.
I decided to do my own research into Joseph Kony, and discovered some things that the video has conveniently glossed over:
1) Joseph Kony and the LRA have not been active in Uganda since 2006 or 2008 (depending on your source. At one point in the video we are shown a graphic too brief to analyse properly, and are told that in the last few years Kony and the LRA have "moved into other countries". When I first saw this I assumed (as I'm sure did many others) that this meant his active territory had just expanded. But what it actually means is that they're not even in Uganda anymore. They are currently believed to be in the border area of the Congo and the Central African Republic (CAD). They have also spread into Sudan. This border area of Congo and CAD was where Kony was last sighted in 2010.
2) Why are they targeting Western youth? If this issue is so important, why aren't they publicising it to a wider demographic? My theory on this is that young people are more susceptible to outside influence, and are less likely to know what is really happening out there in the world. These younger generations are also very connected to social media. Bottom line? This is the easiest demographic to gain support from and get their cause known.
3) There is also no worldwide context given in the video. If you're concerned about the health, emotional wellbeing and safety of children in Uganda, then surely it's worth mentioning the millions of other children all over the world in similar situations?
4) We are told that this is a very important issue, and one we must fix NOW. If it's so important, why have we never heard of this guy? Why is there nothing about Kony in newspapers like there was about Muammar Gaddifi in Libya (before his capture and death in October 2011)?
5) If Kony is no longer in Uganda, how exactly are the donations Invisible Children receive going to help? Where will the money actually go? We are never directly told, and this bothers me. If they have nothing to hide, then why not tell us where it's going?
6) We are told that we should work with the Ugandan army to "stop Kony". But what we are not told is that the Ugandan government is currently one of the most corrupt in the world. The current leader has been in power for 26 years. There is also the fact that in their man hunt for Kony, the Ugandan army has caused just as much - if not more - damage than the LRA have.
There are also a few issues the video raised in my mind that I'd like to put to you.
How did you feel about Russell telling his son, Gavin (who looks about age 6), about Kony and what Kony does/did? Did you feel it was appropriate for a 6 year old to hear about child soldiers? How does filming this for the documentary aid the cause?
Another issue that probably hasn't dawned on many people is the fact that the film showed faces of former child soldiers like Jacob. While Kony is no longer active in Uganda, it still doesn't seem like something you would do if you were concerned about these kids' safety. Spend half an hour in front of news footage and interviews with first hand accounts of suffering like this, in corrupt countries where there are armies lurking around every corner, and you'll notice that the victims' faces aren't shown. It's a privacy/safety issue which Invisible Children hasn't seemed to bear in mind.
In my research I came across information on Charity Navigator about the Invisible Children charity. They get 2 out of 4 stars for 'Accountability and Transparency'. I checked other charities such as Oxfam, Amnesty International, and Doctors Without Borders. They all had 4 out of 4 stars. To me, anything less than 100% transparency and accountability in a charity isn't good enough. What goes on within the charity itself that means it is lacking in transparency by this much?
I'd also like to point out that Jason Russell, as filmmaker and co-founder, has a yearly salary of US$90,000. In 2010, the average wage in the USA was US$41,673.
So, having read all the information I've compiled here, how do you feel now about the Kony 2012 video and campaign?
I agree wholeheartedly that warlords like him should be stopped. It's wrong that children are taken advantage of like this, and I certainly believe in the power of the people.
But is this really the best solution?
Is sharing a video on Facebook going to change the world? Probably not, but at least by doing so you feel like you've been a part of the solution. You raised awareness, and isn't that what the video said we should be doing?
You remember those "few dollars a month" Jason Russell said we should donate? Well, those few dollars are probably going towards his salary.
I'm not saying this campaign is a complete scam designed to purely make money. I'm sure that Russell genuinely feels that this is best way to "stop Kony" and save those kids. He made a promise to Jacob back in 2003 that "We're going to stop him [Kony]." - and this is his way of fulfilling his promise. But none of us should make promises we can't keep. One day, Kony will either be captured and put on trial, or he will simply die. And another warlord or another corrupt government in another country will take his place.
This is not a black and white issue that can be fixed by everyone sharing a video and buying a bracelet. This problem is ongoing, and one we will always fight against.
The saying "Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely." is definitely true of us humans. We are gullible creatures who will take risks, and sometimes do anything for power. It's the way the brain is wired.
I've always believed that if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. And I think that's why millions of people felt they had to share the Kony 2012 video. It made you feel better didn't it? Made you feel like you'd been a part of solving an important problem?
I'm sorry, but in my opinion this is not the right solution. It seems that Invisible Children are trying to fix problems they haven't even come to grips with yet themselves.
And besides, I certainly don't have a lot of confidence in the judgement of a man who gave his son the middle name "Danger", and on his list of inspirational people lists Oprah first, Bono second, and no one like Nelson Mandela or Gandhi who have successfully campaigned against human rights abuses and have changed the face of our world.
In amongst the lack of facts in the Kony video, the over-dramatisation, and over-emotiveness, the message he's sending seems to be
"You want to save the world? Share this video and buy a bracelet."
People are gullible.
We've all done it. We've all been sucked in to one thing or another. Companies and advertisers make good use of this trait every day. I'm sure you can all remember a time you bought something or even just thought about buying something that you saw advertised and thought "Ooh!". Some people are easily lead by their peers, whether it be into believing they're fat because one of the girls at school said "Only skinny girls can get boyfriends." or buying that new dress/hat/shoes/lipstick because the friends they were shopping with convinced them it looked good, even though they didn't really like it that much.
So, bearing in mind how gullible human beings can be, let's look at the Kony 2012 phenomenon.
I've watched my Facebook and Twitter feeds fill up with "Stop Kony" messages over the past 3 days. At first, I didn't take much notice of it. I've known for a long time about 'warlords' like Joseph Kony (although I'd never actually heard his name before), and I've watched countries in Africa and the Middle East fall into disaster zones, with corrupt governments, rebel armies, relentless torture, and child soldiers. This kind of information was not new to me. But I gradually become curious enough to watch the video. I admit that I was sceptical, because I've grown up being taught to not necessarily take things at face value. I have certain sources for this kind of information that I trust and don't question (such as charities like Oxfam, Amnesty International and Avaaz), but I'd never heard of Kony or Invisible Children, so I wasn't about to instantly believe every word they said. I decided this could be an interesting issue to blog about, so I sat down with a notepad to take notes and started the video.
I was struck instantly by how dramatic and personal the video felt. The filmmaker and narrator (as well as being the co-founder of Invisible Children), Jason Russell, tells how he and some friends ended up in Uganda 8 years ago, and discovered the level of violence that has happened there. He made a friend in a local boy, Jacob, and we see footage of Jacob crying when he talks about his murdered brother.
This kind of footage is distressing for any human with any empathy. I find war crimes, torture, rape, child soldiers etc, very wrong and very difficult. Sometimes I get so upset about the state of the world I break down into tears and wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better.
Clearly this film has had the same effect on millions and millions of people worldwide - except their magic wand has been the "Share" button.
Before I start deconstructing the Kony 2012 video and campaign, I'd like to ask you some questions.
How much do you actually know about Joseph Kony? How much information was really in the 29 minute long film? How long have Kony and the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army) been active in Uganda and the surrounding countries? Do you know when Kony was last officially sighted? If you donate money to the Invisible Children charity, where does that money actually end up? And how is sharing a video with all your Facebook friends and Twitter followers going to get this guy arrested?
Okay, so let's start with some basic facts that we should all know.
I decided to do my own research into Joseph Kony, and discovered some things that the video has conveniently glossed over:
1) Joseph Kony and the LRA have not been active in Uganda since 2006 or 2008 (depending on your source. At one point in the video we are shown a graphic too brief to analyse properly, and are told that in the last few years Kony and the LRA have "moved into other countries". When I first saw this I assumed (as I'm sure did many others) that this meant his active territory had just expanded. But what it actually means is that they're not even in Uganda anymore. They are currently believed to be in the border area of the Congo and the Central African Republic (CAD). They have also spread into Sudan. This border area of Congo and CAD was where Kony was last sighted in 2010.
2) Why are they targeting Western youth? If this issue is so important, why aren't they publicising it to a wider demographic? My theory on this is that young people are more susceptible to outside influence, and are less likely to know what is really happening out there in the world. These younger generations are also very connected to social media. Bottom line? This is the easiest demographic to gain support from and get their cause known.
3) There is also no worldwide context given in the video. If you're concerned about the health, emotional wellbeing and safety of children in Uganda, then surely it's worth mentioning the millions of other children all over the world in similar situations?
4) We are told that this is a very important issue, and one we must fix NOW. If it's so important, why have we never heard of this guy? Why is there nothing about Kony in newspapers like there was about Muammar Gaddifi in Libya (before his capture and death in October 2011)?
5) If Kony is no longer in Uganda, how exactly are the donations Invisible Children receive going to help? Where will the money actually go? We are never directly told, and this bothers me. If they have nothing to hide, then why not tell us where it's going?
6) We are told that we should work with the Ugandan army to "stop Kony". But what we are not told is that the Ugandan government is currently one of the most corrupt in the world. The current leader has been in power for 26 years. There is also the fact that in their man hunt for Kony, the Ugandan army has caused just as much - if not more - damage than the LRA have.
There are also a few issues the video raised in my mind that I'd like to put to you.
How did you feel about Russell telling his son, Gavin (who looks about age 6), about Kony and what Kony does/did? Did you feel it was appropriate for a 6 year old to hear about child soldiers? How does filming this for the documentary aid the cause?
Another issue that probably hasn't dawned on many people is the fact that the film showed faces of former child soldiers like Jacob. While Kony is no longer active in Uganda, it still doesn't seem like something you would do if you were concerned about these kids' safety. Spend half an hour in front of news footage and interviews with first hand accounts of suffering like this, in corrupt countries where there are armies lurking around every corner, and you'll notice that the victims' faces aren't shown. It's a privacy/safety issue which Invisible Children hasn't seemed to bear in mind.
In my research I came across information on Charity Navigator about the Invisible Children charity. They get 2 out of 4 stars for 'Accountability and Transparency'. I checked other charities such as Oxfam, Amnesty International, and Doctors Without Borders. They all had 4 out of 4 stars. To me, anything less than 100% transparency and accountability in a charity isn't good enough. What goes on within the charity itself that means it is lacking in transparency by this much?
I'd also like to point out that Jason Russell, as filmmaker and co-founder, has a yearly salary of US$90,000. In 2010, the average wage in the USA was US$41,673.
So, having read all the information I've compiled here, how do you feel now about the Kony 2012 video and campaign?
I agree wholeheartedly that warlords like him should be stopped. It's wrong that children are taken advantage of like this, and I certainly believe in the power of the people.
But is this really the best solution?
Is sharing a video on Facebook going to change the world? Probably not, but at least by doing so you feel like you've been a part of the solution. You raised awareness, and isn't that what the video said we should be doing?
You remember those "few dollars a month" Jason Russell said we should donate? Well, those few dollars are probably going towards his salary.
I'm not saying this campaign is a complete scam designed to purely make money. I'm sure that Russell genuinely feels that this is best way to "stop Kony" and save those kids. He made a promise to Jacob back in 2003 that "We're going to stop him [Kony]." - and this is his way of fulfilling his promise. But none of us should make promises we can't keep. One day, Kony will either be captured and put on trial, or he will simply die. And another warlord or another corrupt government in another country will take his place.
This is not a black and white issue that can be fixed by everyone sharing a video and buying a bracelet. This problem is ongoing, and one we will always fight against.
The saying "Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely." is definitely true of us humans. We are gullible creatures who will take risks, and sometimes do anything for power. It's the way the brain is wired.
I've always believed that if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. And I think that's why millions of people felt they had to share the Kony 2012 video. It made you feel better didn't it? Made you feel like you'd been a part of solving an important problem?
I'm sorry, but in my opinion this is not the right solution. It seems that Invisible Children are trying to fix problems they haven't even come to grips with yet themselves.
And besides, I certainly don't have a lot of confidence in the judgement of a man who gave his son the middle name "Danger", and on his list of inspirational people lists Oprah first, Bono second, and no one like Nelson Mandela or Gandhi who have successfully campaigned against human rights abuses and have changed the face of our world.
In amongst the lack of facts in the Kony video, the over-dramatisation, and over-emotiveness, the message he's sending seems to be
"You want to save the world? Share this video and buy a bracelet."
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Stay Strong
I've just finished watching online Demi Lovato's 'Stay Strong' documentary which was on MTV last night. Being in Oz meant I couldn't watch it, and was feeling rather annoyed about missing it, but then this morning she posted on Facebook saying you could now watch it online! Spent nearly an hour doing that, and it was really interesting.
She's only a year older than me and has been through so much. Battling eating disorders, self-harm, depression.......Struggling to get from day to day. Then discovering she's bipolar... If it were me, I think I would've actually found the diagnosis helpful. It would mean that the problems have a background and a label. Not all the problems perhaps, but a lot of them. It would give you a better understanding of why you are the way you are.
I'm very lucky really.
I'm 18 now - the same age Demi was when she went into treatment in 2010 - and I've never had any of those extreme self-consciousness issues that so many teenage girls have. I always used to think "Oh well I don't have those issues, because I'm not fat." but now I'm older I see that it's often the skinny girls who have the issues. You see the really skinny girls looking at themselves in the mirror and all they see is a twisted perception of what they think they look like. They see all the bad things and none of the good beautiful things.
Because I was homeschooled all through my teens, I never had the peer pressure that girls at school have. There was never any pressure to look like the popular girls, or to stay skinny because you're one of the popular girls. I never had that, and I'm so grateful I didn't! When I look back over my teens, the only period where I really wasn't comfortable with the way I looked was when I was 15/16. I think that's the point you're most likely to feel that way. You're starting to enter the real adult world, and your body is pretty much fully developed. There's still lot of changes in the brain that take place in your mid to late teens, and that doesn't help.
When I was that age, I was crazy about a guy. He was slightly older than me, but I've never seen age as relevant in relationships or friendships. I couldn't really tell whether he liked me or not, but he never really seemed to notice me that much. So I tried to make sure he did. I always made such an effort to look 'good', and was always trying to get his attention in some way. I was never trying to look like models in magazines or anything - I just wanted to look my best. Every single time I saw him. I got really upset for a while, because I knew I was trying to change who I was so that he'd like me. I didn't just try to change my appearance. I got interested in the same music he liked, purely because he liked it. I tried to be interested in everything he was interested in, just so I felt we were compatible - and hoping he'd see it the same way.
Eventually I told him that I liked him, and it turned out he didn't like me - which I should've known all along, but "love is blind" as they say.
I realised that you shouldn't change for someone you like, or even someone you love. If they don't love you the way you are, they don't deserve you. At that point I stopped trying to change for anybody.
That's the biggest lesson I've learnt in my teens - to be yourself.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes I still have days when I look in the mirror and hate the way I look. My hair "looks awful" and I've got a big pimple in the middle of my cheek. There's small bags under my eyes and now that I look at them my thighs aren't as skinny as I'd like.
But then I mentally slap myself across the face and tell myself to stop being pathetic.
I've never even been tempted to cut myself, or not eat because I'm "too fat". I love food too much to ever give it up :)
I can't imagine what it must be like for girls who are starving themselves because they don't feel good enough.
You are good enough.
I don't even know you, but I can tell you right now that each and every one of you ARE good enough.
We are all beautiful.
I know it takes a lot of....whatever...to look in the mirror and say "I'm beautiful just the way I am."
It takes an awful lot of courage, and guts, and self-worth to say that.
But every girl and woman in the world should have the courage, guts and sense of self-worth to say it.
Because - no matter what dress size you are, or what colour your skin is - it's true.
~ You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper ~
- Demi Lovato, 'Skyscaper'
She's only a year older than me and has been through so much. Battling eating disorders, self-harm, depression.......Struggling to get from day to day. Then discovering she's bipolar... If it were me, I think I would've actually found the diagnosis helpful. It would mean that the problems have a background and a label. Not all the problems perhaps, but a lot of them. It would give you a better understanding of why you are the way you are.
I'm very lucky really.
I'm 18 now - the same age Demi was when she went into treatment in 2010 - and I've never had any of those extreme self-consciousness issues that so many teenage girls have. I always used to think "Oh well I don't have those issues, because I'm not fat." but now I'm older I see that it's often the skinny girls who have the issues. You see the really skinny girls looking at themselves in the mirror and all they see is a twisted perception of what they think they look like. They see all the bad things and none of the good beautiful things.
Because I was homeschooled all through my teens, I never had the peer pressure that girls at school have. There was never any pressure to look like the popular girls, or to stay skinny because you're one of the popular girls. I never had that, and I'm so grateful I didn't! When I look back over my teens, the only period where I really wasn't comfortable with the way I looked was when I was 15/16. I think that's the point you're most likely to feel that way. You're starting to enter the real adult world, and your body is pretty much fully developed. There's still lot of changes in the brain that take place in your mid to late teens, and that doesn't help.
When I was that age, I was crazy about a guy. He was slightly older than me, but I've never seen age as relevant in relationships or friendships. I couldn't really tell whether he liked me or not, but he never really seemed to notice me that much. So I tried to make sure he did. I always made such an effort to look 'good', and was always trying to get his attention in some way. I was never trying to look like models in magazines or anything - I just wanted to look my best. Every single time I saw him. I got really upset for a while, because I knew I was trying to change who I was so that he'd like me. I didn't just try to change my appearance. I got interested in the same music he liked, purely because he liked it. I tried to be interested in everything he was interested in, just so I felt we were compatible - and hoping he'd see it the same way.
Eventually I told him that I liked him, and it turned out he didn't like me - which I should've known all along, but "love is blind" as they say.
I realised that you shouldn't change for someone you like, or even someone you love. If they don't love you the way you are, they don't deserve you. At that point I stopped trying to change for anybody.
That's the biggest lesson I've learnt in my teens - to be yourself.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes I still have days when I look in the mirror and hate the way I look. My hair "looks awful" and I've got a big pimple in the middle of my cheek. There's small bags under my eyes and now that I look at them my thighs aren't as skinny as I'd like.
But then I mentally slap myself across the face and tell myself to stop being pathetic.
I've never even been tempted to cut myself, or not eat because I'm "too fat". I love food too much to ever give it up :)
I can't imagine what it must be like for girls who are starving themselves because they don't feel good enough.
You are good enough.
I don't even know you, but I can tell you right now that each and every one of you ARE good enough.
We are all beautiful.
I know it takes a lot of....whatever...to look in the mirror and say "I'm beautiful just the way I am."
It takes an awful lot of courage, and guts, and self-worth to say that.
But every girl and woman in the world should have the courage, guts and sense of self-worth to say it.
Because - no matter what dress size you are, or what colour your skin is - it's true.
~ You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper ~
- Demi Lovato, 'Skyscaper'
So far so good...
Well, it's day 2 of this blog, and I'm already back!
This is usually the way it works, so we'll see how long I can keep it up!
I'm looking forward to today :)
My mother and I are babysitting my nephew all day, and hanging out with him is one of my favourite things to do. He's at that age where he's saying up to 5 or 6 new words a day. He said 'strawberry' to us on Monday. Well, he said his version of strawberry which is "srawbree". So adorably cute. He mimics almost every single word we say, so on Monday I asked if something was getting 'boring' and he said 'boring' (of sorts) back to me.
I love being here with him and getting to watch him grow up. We have such a good relationship, and I can't wait till he's older and we can do seriously awesome stuff together. Like go to the museum and movies etc. I've always wanted to be the fun Aunty. Not the one who sends you nice presents (though I'll do that too) and never makes an effort to interact with you properly. But the one who plays games with you and takes you cool places without your parents. I never had that with my aunts and uncles. I don't have a really good relationship with any of them - or my cousins really. The cousin I'm closest to is my only cousin on my dad's side. He's 5 years older than me, but we have a huge amount in common know. He's very gifted musically, and I love watching him play guitar. But I hardly ever see him, or my other cousins. And none of them really make an effort to keep in touch with me.
I'm determined that, if I have kids, my nephew will have an Aunty AND cousins that he knows well and gets on with.
This is usually the way it works, so we'll see how long I can keep it up!
I'm looking forward to today :)
My mother and I are babysitting my nephew all day, and hanging out with him is one of my favourite things to do. He's at that age where he's saying up to 5 or 6 new words a day. He said 'strawberry' to us on Monday. Well, he said his version of strawberry which is "srawbree". So adorably cute. He mimics almost every single word we say, so on Monday I asked if something was getting 'boring' and he said 'boring' (of sorts) back to me.
I love being here with him and getting to watch him grow up. We have such a good relationship, and I can't wait till he's older and we can do seriously awesome stuff together. Like go to the museum and movies etc. I've always wanted to be the fun Aunty. Not the one who sends you nice presents (though I'll do that too) and never makes an effort to interact with you properly. But the one who plays games with you and takes you cool places without your parents. I never had that with my aunts and uncles. I don't have a really good relationship with any of them - or my cousins really. The cousin I'm closest to is my only cousin on my dad's side. He's 5 years older than me, but we have a huge amount in common know. He's very gifted musically, and I love watching him play guitar. But I hardly ever see him, or my other cousins. And none of them really make an effort to keep in touch with me.
I'm determined that, if I have kids, my nephew will have an Aunty AND cousins that he knows well and gets on with.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
I'm feeling determined. Let's see how long it lasts...
This is my 21st blog.
I kid you not.
I'm sure there are people who have more, but I keep starting them and losing interest after a month or two. Then 6 months later I remember about all my lonely unloved blogs sitting here in the bloggersphere and I come back. I always end up starting a new one. Usually because I've lost the particular 'mojo' or 'tone' I had before and it just seems easier to start afresh.
Well, this time I'm determined that this blog will last!!
We'll see how long I manage to keep it going this time, shall we?
I suspect another thing not keeping me blogging was the lack of followers. After all, what's the point of blogging if no one's going to read it?
Well, if you don't blog in the first place there's nothing for anybody to read is there?
So, I'm going to blog regardless of whether anyone reads it. This is me, just writing about the random stuff that happens in my life. And let me tell you, there's been some pretty random things in the last 12 months!
To give you a little background info on me (without giving away my identity of course :P) I'm currently located in Canberra - Australia's capital city. I was born here and lived in the same house till I was 11, and then we upped and moved to New Zealand. I spent all my teens in Wellington, and then we moved back to Canberra almost exactly a year ago. I have one half brother (we share the same mother) who is 16 years older than me. We have the best brother-sister relationship of anyone I know, and I am also an Aunty to his delightful 18month-old son.
I'm nearly 19, and was homeschooled since I was 9. Nine years seems like a really long time - half my life! But I've loved it, and wouldn't have it any other way. Because of the homeschooling thing, I've had lots of spare time! My mine passions are music, photography and theatre. I sing, play acoustic guitar and piano, and write songs. In an ideal world, I'd have a career in music and sell multi-platinum albums. And I am working towards that, but at a later date - I want to grow up before I get mega-famous and don't have the chance to. I'm currently in a band, but we're still in the really early stages of formation and we don't even have a name yet. So until I get my "big break" or realise it's never gonna happen, I'm heading for a career in photography. I recently used all my savings (and got a massive loan from my parents) to buy a new camera. A Canon EOS 60d. Love love love it! I'll be sure to share some of my photos throughout the blog.
So that's really all you need to know about me at this point. You'll find out more as this blog goes on, and I promise I'll try and makes the posts interesting and entertaining!
My dad is cooking our dinner at present, and it smells soooo good! This beautiful pasta dish we have lots during the summer. Sadly, summer is officially over here in the Southern hemisphere, and today certainly feels autumnal!! Cold wind, cloudy all day, rain... Time to drink lots of hot cuppas and turn on the gas heating!
I'm going to end all my blog posts the way I always end my diary entries - with a lyric from song I love at that moment, or that describes an aspect of my life.
Dinner is calling...
Night world!
~ I ain't here to do anything half way
Don't give a damn what anyone might say
I just wanna free-fall for a while ~
- Gloriana, 'Wild At Heart'
I kid you not.
I'm sure there are people who have more, but I keep starting them and losing interest after a month or two. Then 6 months later I remember about all my lonely unloved blogs sitting here in the bloggersphere and I come back. I always end up starting a new one. Usually because I've lost the particular 'mojo' or 'tone' I had before and it just seems easier to start afresh.
Well, this time I'm determined that this blog will last!!
We'll see how long I manage to keep it going this time, shall we?
I suspect another thing not keeping me blogging was the lack of followers. After all, what's the point of blogging if no one's going to read it?
Well, if you don't blog in the first place there's nothing for anybody to read is there?
So, I'm going to blog regardless of whether anyone reads it. This is me, just writing about the random stuff that happens in my life. And let me tell you, there's been some pretty random things in the last 12 months!
To give you a little background info on me (without giving away my identity of course :P) I'm currently located in Canberra - Australia's capital city. I was born here and lived in the same house till I was 11, and then we upped and moved to New Zealand. I spent all my teens in Wellington, and then we moved back to Canberra almost exactly a year ago. I have one half brother (we share the same mother) who is 16 years older than me. We have the best brother-sister relationship of anyone I know, and I am also an Aunty to his delightful 18month-old son.
I'm nearly 19, and was homeschooled since I was 9. Nine years seems like a really long time - half my life! But I've loved it, and wouldn't have it any other way. Because of the homeschooling thing, I've had lots of spare time! My mine passions are music, photography and theatre. I sing, play acoustic guitar and piano, and write songs. In an ideal world, I'd have a career in music and sell multi-platinum albums. And I am working towards that, but at a later date - I want to grow up before I get mega-famous and don't have the chance to. I'm currently in a band, but we're still in the really early stages of formation and we don't even have a name yet. So until I get my "big break" or realise it's never gonna happen, I'm heading for a career in photography. I recently used all my savings (and got a massive loan from my parents) to buy a new camera. A Canon EOS 60d. Love love love it! I'll be sure to share some of my photos throughout the blog.
So that's really all you need to know about me at this point. You'll find out more as this blog goes on, and I promise I'll try and makes the posts interesting and entertaining!
My dad is cooking our dinner at present, and it smells soooo good! This beautiful pasta dish we have lots during the summer. Sadly, summer is officially over here in the Southern hemisphere, and today certainly feels autumnal!! Cold wind, cloudy all day, rain... Time to drink lots of hot cuppas and turn on the gas heating!
I'm going to end all my blog posts the way I always end my diary entries - with a lyric from song I love at that moment, or that describes an aspect of my life.
Dinner is calling...
Night world!
~ I ain't here to do anything half way
Don't give a damn what anyone might say
I just wanna free-fall for a while ~
- Gloriana, 'Wild At Heart'
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